RUNNING DUE DILIGENCE
Satire. Music. Education.  ·  CLEARANCE: PUBLIC · LEVEL 1

STARTUP CULTURE.
THROUGH MUSIC,
COMEDY & SATIRE.

We make startup life make sense. (Kind of.) Songs for founders and funders, sketches for survivors, and documents nobody was supposed to see.

▶ Watch Latest New Here? Start Here →

LATEST RELEASES · EXHIBIT A

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NEW SONG
Worth More Than God Intended
Single · In Registration▶
NEW SONG
Who Let The Bots Out?
Single · In Registration▶
PROOF
Founder Math · Special Proof №1
"Seed" · Q.E.D.▶
NEW VIDEO
Term Sheet Tinder
Pre-Seed Situationship▶
AS SEEN IN:Your LinkedIn FeedYour Group ChatThe Due Diligence FolderSomeone's Cap TableThe Chili's Bar 🦩 AS SEEN IN:Your LinkedIn FeedYour Group ChatThe Due Diligence FolderSomeone's Cap TableThe Chili's Bar 🦩
The Treasury · Exhibit Ø

THE OFFICIAL COIN OF DELUSION.

Minted in unlimited supply. Backed by vibes. Accepted nowhere. Exchange rate: 1 SAM ≈ $0 ± ∞.

SCROLL TO APPRAISE ↓

Worth More Than God Intended cover: the recovering unicorn at the saloon bar
Bangers · File: AUDIO-01
WORTH MORE
THAN GOD INTENDED

Single · The valuation was faith-based.

COMING SOON TO SPOTIFY
🦩

"Already indexed."

— MINGO, CHIEF INDEX OFFICER · THE CAP TABLE

The Series A Minor Investment Committee in session: six animal partners around the boardroom table beneath the investment thesis
🎤

Bangers

Songs for founders, investors, and the slightly unhinged.

LISTEN →
🎬

Sketches

Startup life as it is. And as it should probably not be.

WATCH →
🗂️

Case Files

Startup truths, filed individually. Saveable. Shareable. Admissible.

OPEN A FILE →
🏛️

Investment Committee

Picks and pronouncements. The committee is always in session.

SEE PICKS →
📰

Newsroom

Currently in session. Transcripts sealed.

CLEARANCE REQUIRED
🗄️

The Cap Table

Our creative OS. Everything indexed. Nothing wasted.

EXPLORE →
THE SAM EXCHANGE:$VIBES ▲ 12%$RUNWAY ▼ 6 WKS$HYPE ▲▲ HALT PENDING$KAYFABE ▲ STABLE$MORALE ▼ SEE FOOTNOTE1 SAM ≈ $0 ± ∞UNOFFICIAL. UNAUDITED. UNBOTHERED. THE SAM EXCHANGE:$VIBES ▲ 12%$RUNWAY ▼ 6 WKS$HYPE ▲▲ HALT PENDING$KAYFABE ▲ STABLE$MORALE ▼ SEE FOOTNOTE1 SAM ≈ $0 ± ∞UNOFFICIAL. UNAUDITED. UNBOTHERED.
THE INSTITUTION HAS TWO DOORS · THE BIRD KNOWS WHICH ONE YOU NEED
Series A Minor Studio · COMMERCE-01

THE INSTITUTION TAKES COMMISSIONS.

Custom startup entertainment for accelerators, funds, and conferences. The catalog above is the audition. Your demo day deserves an opening number.

CONFERENCE OPENERS · PARODY ANTHEMS & CUSTOM SONGS · LAUNCH FILMS
FOUNDER ROASTS · INTERNAL CULTURE VIDEOS · SYNC LICENSING
COMMISSION THE STUDIO →
REAL SERVICES. REAL INVOICES. THE FLAMINGO IS NOT NEGOTIABLE.
Series A Minor Labs · COMMERCE-02

THE INSTITUTION SELLS ARTIFACTS.

Field-tested documents, declassified and priced. Free artifacts flow to Committee members. Paid artifacts transact at the external commissary.

TOOLKITS · SCORECARDS · TEMPLATES · CLASSIFIED DOWNLOADS
FIRST ARTIFACTS IN DECLASSIFICATION
THE COMMISSARY OPENS WHEN THE STAMPS DRY.
🦩

JOIN THE INVESTMENT COMMITTEE

Internal memos, new releases, classified case files, early access. No fluff.*

Certified Delusional

*NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE. THE COMMITTEE HAS BEEN ADVISED.

> CLEARANCE CHECK…
> ACCESS DENIED.
> The Cap Table Vault requires Level 3 clearance.
> Curiosity is a prerequisite, not a credential.
> (Keyboard operators: the old codes still work.)
TOP SECRET
> ACCESS GRANTED.
> WELCOME TO THE CAP TABLE VAULT.
▸ EMPLOYEE_DIRECTORY.pdf — 1 employee. Extremely fabulous.
▸ DELETED_PITCH_DECKS/ — 47 items. All "pre-revenue."
▸ HR_HANDBOOK_v9.docx — Section 4: Grass Policy (indexed)
▸ SEC_FILING_S1_PARODY.pdf — FILED UNDER: PARODY
▸ FILE 00-0001 — [LOCKED] [LOCKED] [LOCKED]
> CURIOSITY: REWARDED. MINGO APPROVES.